Domestic violence against women
is the most common cause of injury to women and it is happening in our society
today, even as you read this. 80-90% of children living in violent homes are
aware of the violence hence its attendant effect on their lives. Girls from
domestic homes are 50% more likely to abuse their children than those who are
not and they tend to marry men who abuse them. Women who are abused are also
more likely to abuse their children. Women are dying, children are becoming emotionally
twisted, hey even the batterers are crying out for help. So why is domestic
violence against women still prevailing?
Wife beating is sanctioned by
many traditional laws and religions; this makes it okay for men to go commando
on their wives at the slightest provocation. The provocation isn’t always necessarily
a result of happenings at home; it could be something that may have happened at
work or while drinking with friends. I am not saying here that it is okay if it is as a result of something that happened at home. There is absolutely no reason on earth why a man should beat his wife no matter what she may have said or done. Sure, women can be a handful and an annoying specie of the human race, it is in our DNA. Yet, getting angry is a legit emotion which should be expressed but not by hitting another adult who happens to be your wife. Let's face it, she isn't the only person that annoys you still you do not go about hitting anyone who does.
System failure contributes to the
success of violence against women, no one effectively intervenes, not friends,
not the neighbours, not the police, not the church, not the courts, not the
media, no one. You hear your neighbours’ wife screaming from the slaps and kicks;
you turn up your radio to drown the noise. It is their privacy, you won’t
intervene. Do you really believe that it does not affect you? Or that minding
your business makes you the stand up guy and earns you the perfect neighbour award?
This batterer neighbour of yours is grooming a future batterer who might end up
getting married to your grand niece. Fat chance? Not really!
I think that intervening does not
only help the victim but the batterer too. I mean, somewhere deep inside, he
wishes he kept his promise to himself. A promise he made to never hit any woman
in his life, especially not his wife. A promise he made to himself severally
while watching his mother take abuse from his father. A promise he renews each
time he gets remorseful for hitting his wife. He wishes someone would
intervene. Somehow, I see him as a victim too; a victim of societal breakdown
and poor role modeling.
The success rate of wife beating
can be curbed if batterers stop getting away with it. We really can’t afford to
let this keep prevailing, call the police, knock down that door and make a citizen’s
arrest if you have to but don’t do NOTHING. The violence Against Persons (Prohibition)
Act, 2015 shouldn’t be another policy for the shelves. It is aimed at
prohibiting all forms of violence against persons both in private and public; I
earnestly hope it doesn’t fall short of its aim.
Let us all join hands in this fight
to end wife battery, it is not a fight to be fought by a particular gender, or
by survivors of violence, it is a fight to be fought by everyone, men and
women. Every child deserve to grow in a violent free home.
